My dream life

In my dream life I would have a loving family. Parents I would love to spend time with, sibilings who would be my best friend. There would be no screams, no physical/mental abuse. House would be full of love, care and support.

In my dream life I would have wonderful friends. Who would accept me the way I am, who would care about me, who would always be there for me. They would know how I really feel without words and they would make me feel safe and loved.

In my dream life I would be confident. I would do exactly I want to do, I would run after my dreams and wouldn’t stop unless I reach them. I would flirt with guys in a club or in cafe. I would always speak my mind and wouldn’t be shy in front of anyone.

In my dream life I would be brave. I would have courage to travel across the world to start a new life. I would save every penny for a plane ticket and I would reach my goal.

In my dream life I would be needed. There would be someone who would like me to exist, who would care if I disappeared. Someone would cry after me, would like to be close to me, would like to help me.

In my dream life I wouldn’t cry. I would be glad about my life, people around me. I would have support in making my dreams come true. I wouldn’t hear complaints in every second.

Can someone take me away from my hell and show me heaven?



When sun comes up

When sun comes up flowers wake up to life

When sun comes up birds start singing

When sun comes up world becomes beautiful

When sun comes up people start being nicer

When sun comes up you can’t wait to start your day

When sun comes up day is even better

When sun comes up your problems vanish for a little while

When sun comes up everything looks brighter

When sun comes up I feel like living

When sun comes up I feel like smiling


Darkness in his eyes

Sometimes things don’t work out.

No matter how much we try to keep them going they just stop.

No matter how much we try pain is too big to hold on to it.

Things break. We have no control over it.


It hurts.

Leaving something important behind is hard.

It takes a piece of us away and we can never get it back.

It leaves a hole in our hearts that can’t be fixed.

It leaves a mark on us.

It changes us.

Sometimes it leaves too many holes and takes too many pieces..

That only darkness stays.

You look into his eyes when you walk away and you see nothing.

You took everything from him.

You have his heart, his soul, his life.

I’m sorry will never be enough.

No matter how many times you say that.


Sweet, sweet love…

You remember the feeling when you fell in love for the first real time in your life?

Butterflies in your belly, rapid heartbeat, smile from ear to ear anytime you see your love, sparks while you hold their hand for the first time and the feeling of being alone in the whole world while they kiss you. You just want to spend your free time with them hanging out or grab a lunch together. You share food and fall asleep in each other’s arms. You sit in the same room while she reads a book and he plays a video game. You just like being close to each other, but still you spend time apart. Your love is that strong that you don’t need to be together all the time. She goes shopping with her girlfriends and he goes for a beer with his boyfriends. Then you come back home and you are just for your love.

Sometimes there comes the moment that they need to stay apart and be with someone else. But the feeling, this first real love, will be in their heart forever as a sweet, sweet memory.


Once in a while

Once in a while there comes a day that everything just seems to be right.

You wake up happy and full of energy, you feel so relaxed. Time at work or school passes fast and easy. Weather is perfect for a nice walk in the park with a cup of favorite coffee and a friend. The sun is shining, birds are singing, wind is caressing your skin. The day is so calm, you can do everything you need to do and still have time to relax. You don’t feel any stress or sadness. You even have enough free money to go and buy the dress or shoes you wanted so much since a long time. You smile all day to everyone, you spend a lovely time. Everything is just perfect. No worries, no problems. A lovely and easy day.

I hope such day will happen to me soon and often.


Not a happy ending

He comes.

With his sweet words, beautiful smile and hypnotizing eyes.

She falls in love with him.

He is treating her as princess.

Wakes her up with a kiss and welcomes her with a flower.

Romantic dinners, night walks and cuddles while watching a sunset.

She is in a fairytale.

Until one day.

He stops calling, he doesn’t show up on a date and he just disappears.

He is giving flowers to another girl now.

She is left with heart broken into tiny pieces.

One more asshole closer to her prince charming.


More and more

Sometimes I want to hide

From the whole world.

I want to find a safe place

And stay there.

Everyone just want more and more from me

But no one asks what I want.

I’m tired and powerless

I can’t stand it anymore..

My needs are important too.

My dreams matter too.

My life is valuable too.

I deserve to do be who I want.

I deserve to do what I want.

I can be lost sometimes.

It’s ok.

Don’t push me anymore.

You may lose me.