Why I ‘love’ winter

  • My favorite winter beauty treatment is freezing to the bones.
  • I love having melted snow in my shoes making my feet frozen. I simpy truly love it!
  • Nothing is sexier than ugly boots, puffy jackets and wooly hats damaging your hair.
  • I really enjoy getting up from hot bed to feel cold in the house.
  • It’s really cool to wait for a plane to depart 6 hours longer.
  • The best winter jewelery are frozen tears on eye lashes.
  • My favorite winter workout is a walk on pavement covered with ice.
  • It’s really nice to wake up an hour earlier just to shovel snow and unfreeze the car.
  • My most favorite days are days with winter storms which make all city stand still. Amazing!
  • I love texting outside while my fingers get red and lose feeling of touch.
  • It’s just lovely to be stuck in a train in the middle of nowhere for a whole night.
  • The best of all is falling on your ass in the middle of a crowd.

xoxo

Types of boyfriend you do NOT want to have

1. Teddy Bear

  • his belly covers view at his feet
  • he wants someone to hug him
  • his sweetness will make you dizzy
  • he could caress you till death
  • he is docile as puppy

2. Mommy’s boy

  • his mom still chooses his clothes every morning
  • he doesn’t make any decision without his mom
  • he doesn’t accept any cooking but his mom’s
  • he will call his mom all the time, even during sex with you
  • he would gladly live with mom till he dies

3. (Un)fashionable

  • he thinks he is the god of style
  • he wears all patterns together
  • his socks are never in the same color
  • his clothes are tighter than yours
  • he wears everything what is out of fashion

4. Jock-gay

  • he spends more time in front of mirror than any girl
  • he is married to gym
  • his biggest achievement is carrying two girls at once
  • he worships his hair
  • he is more tanned than you

5. Artist

  • he doesn’t work, because it’s aganist his philosophy
  • his life is harder than anyone else’s
  • he is always aganist everything
  • his life goal is to find the real truth
  • he speaks with lines from poems

xoxo

Why I love being a girl

  • I can be mean and blame PMS.
  • I can cry on sad movie and it will be considered ‘cute’.
  • I have boobs. Boobs are good. Everyone loves boobs.
  • I can make myself pretty with few cosmetics.
  • I can get anything I want with puppy eyes and showing off cleavage.
  • I can dress in men’s style.
  • I can call another girl a ‘sexy b*tch’ and I won’t be named a lesbian.
  • I can punch a guy in the face without any big consequences.
  • I can wear heels to look taller.
  • I don’t need to pay on first dates.
  • I leave place at risk in the first place.
  • I can shake my bum to get attention.
  • I can use my period as an excuse to avoid any physical activity.
  • I can stay in bed all week after a break up and I won’t be called crazy.
  • I can say sweet words to my pet in public.
  • I can wear pink… everything.
  • I can cry if I don’t want to do something.
  • I can shave whole body (beside head) and I won’t be called a freak.
  • I can pretend scared on horror movie to be hugged by my date.
  • I can get a free drink at the club fluttering eyelashes.
  • I can get things done for me being sweet and flirty.
  • I can wear a variety of clothes.
  • I have an easier life, because I’m a girl.

xoxo

15 minutes

In 15 minutes you can:

  • make a breakfast
  • watch 4 videos on YouTube
  • vacuum your room
  • do make up
  • read a chapter of a book
  • check daily news
  • make out
  • talk to a friend
  • go to nearest shop
  • take a shower
  • dress up for a date
  • clean pc from useless files
  • smoke a cigarette
  • browse through Facebook news feed
  • have a fight with family member
  • eat a box of cookies
  • write totally pointless blog post

xoxo

10 things to do when you are sick

  1. Wear the ugliest pijama you have. It will refect how you feel.
  2. Stay in bed for 2 and half days. Whole number is too mainstream.
  3. Hug your pet. Let it feel your pain.
  4. Make a fortress from used tissues. No one will dare to break it.
  5. Demand attention. Your family is obligated to serve you.
  6. Sleep. Sleep is good.
  7. Get sweat under cover. Company is acceptable.
  8. Eat a lot of soup. You will recover few pounds lighter.
  9. Write a testament. Enough said.
  10. Get a grip! It’s just flu!

xoxo