Have you ever wondered why your life looks as it looks?

Since I was a kid I was thinking about why I am who I am, why I live where I live, why I look how I look, what is the reason of living. I still keep thinking about it once in a while. It really fascinates me.

I feel like my soul was trapped in wrong body. I have bigger dreams than everyone else around me, I want to look different than I look (I’m not talking here about losing weight), I’m a freak about symmetry while I’m not symmetric myself and I have totally different interests. Through my real life I’ve only met one person who shares my passion.

Sometimes I wonder how would my life look like if I was someone else. Would I be who I am now? Would I be this shy? Would I be more confident? More successful? I know nothing will really change, but I just like philosophical thinking.

I believe in soul traveling after death and that we reborn. My religion doesn’t believe in it, but I do. I believe we have already been living years or centuries before. I sometimes think I’ve been a bad person in my previous life and now I’m punished with this life I don’t belong to.

Philosophical thinking is a part of me. I don’t always control it and I sometimes realize I think about life and why life is as it is. I sometimes regret I didn’t choose different path of life and I didn’t study philosophy. But I guess I would have problems with finding a job.

Even if I’m trapped in wrong life I’ll do my best to have a life I’ve always wanted to have.

xoxo

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4 thoughts on “Have you ever wondered why your life looks as it looks?

  1. Your thinking about being a bad person in previous life and now being punished in your present life is more of a Buddhism thinking which is you reap what you sow !

    Indeed, do think the same way as you do. Maybe I did something bad in my past life, so my present life sucks. I’m still thinking how I can remedy this !

  2. No one is trapped in a wrong life, we choose our life before we born. We choose our parents, we choose how difficult our life will be because we come here to learn, the more difficult life we choose the more we want to learn. You chose this life to learn from it. That’s why you chose to not to be symmetric so you could learn about it, so you could learn the beauty of it. At least that is what I belive in… And I swear that every time I think how I don’t understand something a behavior or whatever this happens to me, I start to act like the person I didn’t understand and that’s my life teaching me and so many times I hate it! I hate it and it scares me cause I don’t want to finish being totally f–ked up. Every day I became that what I said I’d never be sometimes in a good way but many times in a bad way and I know why, so I could accept it and learn from it and move on. But learning all these lessons is hard and they keep accumulating over us until it’s harder and harder to move on but if we stop moving then it’s the end. So let’s take one thing at a time, take deep breaths and accept all the good and bad, keep the good and let go the bad. Every day we now a little more and we get better at this thing called Life.

      • Well this teaching, not religion says that we can see life as school and every grade is a life and between them we look back at what we have learned and what we need to learn more and prepare the life we want to live and if we weren’t good students and didn’t learn some lessons then we have to repeat them. And then there’s the “punishment” as you say, the more bad thing you do in your life the longer the punishment takes to arrive. Let’s say you say something mean to someone and after you hit your little toe to something but if you do something really cruel it might come to you in your next life when you don’t understand why is this bad thing happening to you or even worse your punishments pass on to your children. And stuff like that.

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