I hate the moment of my life I’m in right now. I have no plan for life and I have no idea what to do. Job hunting made me so depressed that I would gladly hibernate in my bed.
I feel like a loser. I applied for 100+ jobs in a period of like 6 months and I’ve got 0 replies. 0!!!! Seems my appearance is not suitable for any kind of job. I wish I had courage and confidence in myself to go and fight, but I just don’t have it.
For whole high school I knew exactly what I want to do. I wanted to work in tourism and have anything in common with traveling. I thought it will make me happy. But right now I have no idea what I want to do. I don’t know do I still want to work in travel agency or hotel. I don’t know what makes me happy.
The worst thing is that not only I feel like a loser and failure, but my family has a huge need to make me feel like a shit. They don’t care about how I feel. They just can’t wait to get rid of me and stop helping me. I sometimes think they prefer me not to even be born.
Most of you will say I exaggerate, but believe me, I don’t. I’ve never had a support from my family, they have never asked me how I feel. All they care about is stop giving me money. Funny thing, they literally forced me to do masters and now they complain.
I regret I listened to them. If I didn’t start master, right now I would live in Hurghada in Egypt working in a hotel and having a very good salary. Just after I decided to continue studying my friend offered me this job, but stupid me decided to go back to college. And now I’m fucked. No job, no money, no happiness, no life.
I’m sorry for this depressing post, but I just needed to vent.