The worst version of me

I write a lot about process of self love and good values in me, that I decided it’s time for self-examination and admitting all the bad things I’ve done and bad values I unfortunately carry.

I can pretend how amazing I am and have always been, but it’s unfair. I don’t blog to praise myself, but also to say out loud what I don’t like about myself, what I’m ashamed of and be able to move forward with a clear conscience.

I’ve always been more mature than my peers, but everyone makes mistakes in their youth and everyone has values they are not proud of.

It’s time for me to say them out loud:

  • I happen to be an egoist and I want things to always be my way.
  • I’ve not always been fair to my boyfriends or friends.
  • I lose temper easy and hurt people for no reason.
  • I get angry when someone ignores me and I say a lot of bad things on purpose.
  • I fight intentionally when I’m in bad mood.
  • I used to lie very well to hide my bad behaviour.
  • I expect too much and when I don’t get it I’m mean.
  • I’m malicious for people who I think are stupid.
  • I used to use people for my own benefit.

That’s all I can think of right now and I think there are not more of different behaviours I don’t like.

I somehow feel free now to admit in public that I’ve not always been a good person. I eliminated most of those behaviours, but I still happen to lose temper and be mean, but I think it happens rare now.

I try to use my mind instead of my emotions and I think I cope with it well. I’m trying to be a better person everyday.



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