Around a year ago I died.
My laugh ceased to be heard, my smile slowly left my face, my eyes stopped seeing world around, my ears didn’t hear words anymore…
I stopped breathing.
I was still there, but at the same time I wasn’t. I felt like in a parallel reality. I was a spectator of my own life. I was there, next to everyone, but no one has seen me.
How did that happen?
I let it catch me. I was running from it for a very long time. But I lost strenght. I lost a will to run. It caught me on my knees. Being not able to get up.
My emotions damaged me. I let them. I let them crash me. I let them take my breath away.
Too much hopes. Too much faith. Too much expectation.
Positive smiley girl, who liked to make people laugh, died. She became mean, rude, sarcastic bitch.
I only know how to hurt people, push them away. I let my negative emotions take control over me.
I lost control. I lost myself. I’m trapped in a deep hole without a way to get out.
I need to find this way.
I killed myself. Now I need to rise from the ashes.