I wish I were

I wish I were confident. I wouldn’t be affraid of new places nor people, I would move on with my life the way I want, I wouldn’t be shy.

I wish I were talkative. I wouldn’t be boring, I would be able to make a conversation with anyone, I would be able to speak my mind openly.

I wish I were brave. I would do anything I want, I would live anywhere I want, I would work wherever I want.

I wish I were less sensitive. I wouldn’t take anything personal, I wouldn’t care how other people treat me, I wouldn’t expect anything from them.

I wish I were not afraid of loneliness. I would travel alone wherever I want, I would go out alone, I would party alone.

I wish I were less nervous. I would control myself easier, I wouldn’t cause fights, I wouldn’t hurt people.

I wish I were a better version of myself.

xoxo

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3 thoughts on “I wish I were

  1. The most interesting conservationists are generally the ones who ask questions and spend most of the conversation. You are probably far more interesting than you think 😉

    You are brave because you wrote this personal piece and you do speak your mind here. You can build on those strengths a little at a time because you have them there in seed, waiting to be watered and to grow.

    Being sensitive has it’s upsides like ability to understand and empathize, creative ability in many cases, ability to deal with subtle things. Most people are thinking about themselves and their own agendas and their own image and feelings and thoughts, so you are probably more off the hook than you realize. It takes a lot of tricks to work through not taking things so personally. Sometimes it is best to stand still and weather the storm, allowing other people’s BS to flow past you/through you/beyond you and for the sun to return to shine on you again.

    I doubt that you cause fights. I imagine you take part in them and that’s part of life for most people sometimes. Sounds like you are being too hard on yourself.

    You are the better version of yourself already. You have all you need inside you waiting for the right conditions to sprout and grow. Just add water. And don’t underestimate yourself. There’s no need.

    • Thank you for your words, but I really feel as I wrote here. Especially about the sensitive part. It is slowly destroying me and I really wish I could be a cold b*tch most of the time. I’m slowly working to make a balance between reality and my mentality. I hope I’ll reach the moment where I’ll start thinking with head more often and less with heart.

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