I’ve always been shy. Always. I was too shy to even say what I think around friends or read my homework in front of class. Uff I was more shy than you can imagine. I’m still shy, but way less than I used to.
The only thing I’m still so shy about is sharing my feelings. Especially with a guy I have a crush on.
I’m not the dream of any guy so it’s even more hard. I actually did it only once.
It was few years ago, I think I was still in high school then. I talked to this guy a lot, like really a lot. And then BOOM! I fell for him. I wasn’t in love as he lived in other country, but I really really really liked him. I never planned to tell him that I like him ‘THIS WAY’, but something was forcing me to do it. I gathered up the courage for a few weeks before I confessed to him what I feel.
I was so stressed and shaking when I was writing a message to him. I think I was even crying! It’s too stressful. I remember I was so embarassed when he wrote to me after I sent my letter to him. He was talking as if nothing happened and I thought I’ll die. Thankfully I didn’t see him face to face then or I would ran away and hide.
As you may guess, he rejected me. He said he likes me, but he just finished a relation few months back and he doesn’t want to involve with anyone for now, especially on long distance.
We remained friends, but unfortunately after a while our ways just didn’t cross anymore.
It was the one and only moment when I confessed my feelings to anyone. I was think our friendship wasn’t the same anymore.
I’m not sure if I ever dare to confess my feelings first. Maybe someday when I meet the right guy.