I got used to be a loner and I’m ok with that, but there are moments in my life that I’m scared of being alone.
I’m tired of thinking about everything and dealing with everything alone. I want someone, a friend, who will sometimes give me a hand and just lead so my brain can relax. I want someone who will give me a kick, someone who will let me cry in their arms, someone who will know I’m not ok even if I smile and laugh.
Loneliness crushes me more and more often. I happen to cry while walking on the street going back from college or mall, I cry before I sleep, I cry when I wake up.
I feel like I’m losing my strenght. I know I will rise again. I always do, but it’s harder day by day. When I’m on my knees I need someone to help me to stand up.
I don’t want to be forever alone anymore. I want to finally be a happy person. It’s all too much for me to deal with. All this pain, all this loneliness are killing me slowly. I’m affraid there will be a day when I won’t be able to stand up anymore.