I envy people who are close to their parents, who are the best friends with their moms and are their dads little girls. I can only dream about it.
My parents never told me they love me, they never asked me how am I doing, they never cared about me. I think they would be happy if I never was born.
No, I’m not exaggerating. You may say that everyone feels the same. Sometimes maybe yes. But in my case it was always.
I don’t talk to my parents. I never could just go to them and talk about everything. I always had to deal with everything by myself.
They have two kids, me and my brother. They always remind me about how much money they spend on me. My brother goes for a camp abroad every year. I once went for an abroad trip with my dance team. Once. It couldn’t happen without complains from their side, of course. He has everything he wants. I got screamed at when I said I need new phone because my old one which I had since high school was damaging.
They can’t wait to stop supporting me and they would be happy if I gave them all of the money they spent at me back. I’m not some spoiled princess who expects parents to give her money forever, but, in my opinion, it’s their duty to help their kids.
I can’t wait to be by my own. I can’t wait to earn enough money to be able to pay all bills by myself. I really can’t wait.
I’ll do everything to make it happen. And when it happens they will never see me again. I’ll be happy without them.
I don’t listen to anyone who says that they are my parents, I’ll get on with them better with time, etc. I don’t care. I don’t deserve for all this pain by being hated by my own parents.
I’m tired of crying because of them. I’m tired of being screamed at for no reason. I’m tired of being treaten as crap. I dreamt for a miracle to happen to let me leave Poland and forget about them.
I hope I’ll be able to run away from all of these soon. I’ll work hard to make my dreams come true and leave this pain behind.
I had to finally throw it out of me. It feels peaceful to whine sometimes.